Last weekend I ran my
first race in a long time. It was only a
5K. I have been running. I was feeling good about it. And, then…I sucked. I ran slow.
I stopped to walk. I was
struggling to breathe. I was not very
motivated. I just sucked. And I was really, really bummed about it. I used to be able to run much farther, much
faster. My ultimate disappointment came,
of course, when I checked the results and I came in somewhere in the 500’s out
of 900 people (some of whom walked).
Ugh. If I felt bad about my
performance before then, I definitely felt badly about it when I saw the
results. I “ran” about an 11 and a half
minute mile!!??!! SUCKED. The whole time that I was looking at the
results my eyes just kept moving up to the top of the race results at the
runners who completed the entire race just minutes after I completed my first
mile. Ugh!
Of course, in typical
Danielle-fashion, I told everyone how horrible I did in the race. Most of the people that I talked to had similar
responses, “good job”, “impressive”, “You finished!”, “I haven’t run in years,
good for you”. Huh? I’m like, um did you hear me? I said I ran a single mile in ELEVEN AND A
HALF MINUTES. Not the race…just the
first mile and then each one after that.
Of course I do have some extremely athletic friends who run marathons
and triathalons and their responses were ones of encouragement…at least you
finished…it was just a bad race…blah, blah, blah. But they can’t fool me. They are the totally those running geeks that
start the race in the 6-minute mile groupJ But that’s not the point of this blog! So, let’s refocus…The point is that I am a
competitive person, by nature, and I can be tough on myself. And both of those things are (mostly)
positive traits. However, I tend to lose
perspective and feel like the worst at something. But am I really the worst or just the worst
of the best?? (Quite possibly a major
overstatement, but trying to make my point hereJ
I have this same issue at
work. I work with lots and lots of
smarty-pants people. It is pretty easy
to forget that they are smarter than the average bear and really easy to feel
like a dummy. I know I am not. But, again, I tend to lose perspective. Let’s be real. No matter how much I train, I will never be
running alongside Uta Pippig (3-time Boston marathon winner). And, I will probably never be the CEO of my
company (although I tend to tell people that I will after a cocktail or two…). But who cares. I am running (albeit slowly) and I am working
at a great company. And, I am proud
about both of those things. And if being
the worst of the best means being outrun by a little old man in a pair of
short-shorts who used to run marathons in his golden days…well, dammit, I am ok
with that too. But still totally not ok with an old man wearing short shorts...
Until next time...
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