Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The worst??? Or, the worst of the best???


Last weekend I ran my first race in a long time.  It was only a 5K.  I have been running.  I was feeling good about it.  And, then…I sucked.  I ran slow.  I stopped to walk.  I was struggling to breathe.  I was not very motivated.  I just sucked.  And I was really, really bummed about it.  I used to be able to run much farther, much faster.  My ultimate disappointment came, of course, when I checked the results and I came in somewhere in the 500’s out of 900 people (some of whom walked).  Ugh.  If I felt bad about my performance before then, I definitely felt badly about it when I saw the results.  I “ran” about an 11 and a half minute mile!!??!!  SUCKED.  The whole time that I was looking at the results my eyes just kept moving up to the top of the race results at the runners who completed the entire race just minutes after I completed my first mile.  Ugh!

Of course, in typical Danielle-fashion, I told everyone how horrible I did in the race.  Most of the people that I talked to had similar responses, “good job”, “impressive”, “You finished!”, “I haven’t run in years, good for you”.  Huh?  I’m like, um did you hear me?  I said I ran a single mile in ELEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES.  Not the race…just the first mile and then each one after that.  Of course I do have some extremely athletic friends who run marathons and triathalons and their responses were ones of encouragement…at least you finished…it was just a bad race…blah, blah, blah.  But they can’t fool me.  They are the totally those running geeks that start the race in the 6-minute mile groupJ  But that’s not the point of this blog!  So, let’s refocus…The point is that I am a competitive person, by nature, and I can be tough on myself.  And both of those things are (mostly) positive traits.  However, I tend to lose perspective and feel like the worst at something.  But am I really the worst or just the worst of the best??  (Quite possibly a major overstatement, but trying to make my point hereJ

I have this same issue at work.  I work with lots and lots of smarty-pants people.  It is pretty easy to forget that they are smarter than the average bear and really easy to feel like a dummy.  I know I am not.  But, again, I tend to lose perspective.  Let’s be real.  No matter how much I train, I will never be running alongside Uta Pippig (3-time Boston marathon winner).  And, I will probably never be the CEO of my company (although I tend to tell people that I will after a cocktail or two…).  But who cares.  I am running (albeit slowly) and I am working at a great company.  And, I am proud about both of those things.  And if being the worst of the best means being outrun by a little old man in a pair of short-shorts who used to run marathons in his golden days…well, dammit, I am ok with that too.  But still totally not ok with an old man wearing short shorts...

Until next time...

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