It's not me. It's you.

I’m funny.  Really, I am.  I love to laugh and I love to try and make other people laugh.  I think it is a coping mechanism and how I manage to get through everything from the typical day-to-day stress to the more serious situations.  I think laughter is extremely powerful (if you have heard my loud and unique laugh - you also know that my laughter IS extremely powerful).  Just one little joke, even though it may seem trivial or dumb, just one reason to laugh out loud and make something that felt so serious seem so silly, can change your whole outlook. It is so important that we do our best to make light of things and not to get bogged down in life...ESPECIALLY MOM LIFE.  Because, let’s be honest, there is nothing more crazy than the day-to-day life of a mom.  If you can't laugh at it, you might cry.

But, this blog is not about why laughter is important.  I shouldn’t need to convince anyone of that.  It's about people's reactions to my attempts to be funny.  I try to make light of situations at home, at work, with my friends.  And, I think a lot of people recognize what I am doing, just trying to make my day (and maybe theirs) a little more entertaining.  But, recently, after being told to "tone down my laugh" I became really self-conscious.  Of course, when this happened, I felt really stupid.  Being someone that is really concerned about what other people think of me, I am constantly worried.  So I worried about looking dumb and I started to filter what I did and said and held back on the jokes, especially at work.  But that is so boring and so, SO not me!  So after a while of trying to "tone down my laugh" I came to the conclusion that the real problem is not me, it is them.   Let me just repeat that...IT IS NOT ME, IT IS THEM.  Some people are very serious and they can’t appreciate my humor.  Sorry not sorry, I like having fun and I love to laugh, loudly. And I think that is a really, really good thing.  I might not be everybody's cup of tea (we all can't have senses of humor, I understand), but who cares??

The point of this blog is just to remind people, especially women since we tend to internalize everything, that when people have a problem with who you are or what you are about it is exactly that .. their problem.  It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you.  (Disclaimer: If you are serial killer or something equivalent then there probably is something wrong with you and this blog really doesn't apply, but for everyone else...) It just means that they don't get it, they don't get you.  Oh well.  Their loss!!  No one is perfect.  There is no perfect woman, mother, or career person.  We all have our "things" that drive other people crazy.  My laugh might be a perfect example.  But the people that matter, they see those other things.  The bigger and better things that make us special.  They take the good with the bad.  They may even appreciate the "bad".  So don't try to change who you are or be something different just to impress. 

This is so, so important for moms. With moms, there is this added layer of trying to be the "perfect" mom and we need validation that we are doing it right.  Well, let me tell you, my true self is NOT a perfect mom.  I love my kids, but I struggle with typical mom things.  I'm sure that some people judge me for missing things when I travel for work or for my style of parenting (which is probably a lack of a style, if I'm honest).  And I definitely worry about that.  But the truth is I can only be the woman and mom that I'm made to be, not one that everyone will like.  Some people will agree with how I do things (and like my laugh) and some people won't.  It's hard to be ok with that but you just have to be or you will burn yourself out!  Just be you and stick to it. If you need a little more convincing, just know that I am ok with whatever you do (again, unless you're a serial killer - I am NOT ok with serial killers).

Hopefully after you read this blog you will have a little more confidence to be who you are, in general and as a mom.  If you are bothered because someone doesn’t appreciate you for who you are (or, like in my case, doesn’t find you funny), just remind yourself it’s not your problem it’s theirs.  And, in keeping with the spirit of this, let other women be their self without judging them (SO IMPORTANT).  So you keep being you and I'll keep telling my jokes and laughing obnoxiously.

Until next time…