So it has been a long,
long time since my last blog post…what can I say? I missed it and all of you very much, but life has been pretty hectic. We welcomed baby #3 in March (a-NOTHER girl)
and have been acclamating to life as a family of 5. I recently started back to work (wah!), which has been a challenge and, amidst all of this, have been running again. So time is very limited and when I have some to spare it isn't spent at my computer. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about the blog! I am constantly telling myself, "this would be a great blog topic", but haven't been inspired to actually sit down and write until tonight. When the idea for this blog came to me, I just felt that I had to
share this so that other parents could relate (and get a laugh out of it in the meantime).
The idea for this blog actually came to me in the shower (keep reading, totally pg...I swear). I looked up from rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and came face to face with Barbie…naked Barbie. Yes, people, I am a 34 year-old woman and I have naked Barbie dolls hanging in my shower. Even worse, Steve is a 32 year-old man and he has naked Barbie dolls hanging in his shower. If he didn't have kids, that would be seriously disturbing! Before you assume that we have some crazy doll fetish, let me explain...the girls take dolls in the tub with them and I hang them on the towel rack to dry. I never really thought twice about it, honestly. But in that moment, when I looked up and saw Barbie, arms outstretched, staring straight at me, it just struck me as so strange. (Even stranger, I actually thought to myself, “stop staring, you skinny b&*^%” until I remembered she’s only a DOLL!!). I just started to think about all of the weird things that occur in my everyday life (oh, you want to hand me your booger? Sure, why not??!) and had to sit down and write.
Once Steve and I had kids
we adopted things as “normal” that we once would have considered insane. Kids have just consumed us and completely changed every aspect of our lives, expanding what we consider to be acceptable without us even noticing. I mean, I now drive around with a potty in my car for any "pee-mergencies". A potty that claps when you pee in it, mind you. And worse than that, we have the process of using that potty down pat...potty goes in third row, Mia goes, I give her two wipes (one to wipe, one for hands), while she gets cleaned up I dump the potty contents into an empty Dunkins cup that is kept in the car just for this purpose, she puts the dirty wipes right in to the cup, potty goes back in trunk and we are off. I NEVER would have thought that this was ok before I was a mom. Now, I just think that the potty is better than the alternatives.
I sing ridiculous made-up songs that the girls and I have made up. I say words like “nudey-kazutey”, "pop-pop" (aka, pacifier), and "jj" (no explanation necessary). I see 3-4 naked bums in one day (way more than even my college days:). I would think nothing of birthing a kid’s
poop or discussing a bum rash. I am constantly asking questions that I know the answer to (e.g., did you poop) or that aren't really questions at all (e.g., do you want to clean those puzzles up for me?). I have full blown conversations with both Steve and the pediatrician about the consistency, color, and scent of poop. I keep the house stocked with magic erasers and am constantly using them to clean crayons off of everything but paper. My netflix looks like a kids show lineup...all of the shows that they suggest star either fairies, a teenage girl, or talking animals. I know more about said shows that what is going on in Syria. Life has just gotten weird people…really,
really freaking weird!!
As much as I joke about
all of these changes in my life, I actually embrace MOST of them (I could do without some of the shows...ahem, fresh beat band). If being able to experience life with my kids means that I have to drive
around with a potty that claps when you pee in it or even shower with Barbie…I
will take it. They are really worth all of the madness that comes along with them. And, hey, it
could be worse…if we had all boys, I can only imagine what I might be showering
with!
