In the past month life at
the Kearney house has gotten a little…chaotic.
Ok, more than a little chaotic.
It is actually 100% pure chaos. I
have never felt quite so out of control.
Even though the girls are really close in age (about 16½ months) and I should expect such craziness, Steve
and I have always had some sort of system and some element of control. It also helps that Mia and Sophia have
always been pretty “easy” kids (I use quotations because I recognize that no
kids are easy, so I use the term relatively).
We never had major challenges with naptime or bedtime. We never had any major health issues and didn’t
deal with more than the average illnesses.
And, despite the fact that both of my kids have very strong
personalities and wills, they never seemed to all fall apart at the same time. Life was always manageable. The kids’ personalities and life stages just
seemed to work out so that if we were struggling with one, the other was
relatively easy. Well, that has all
changed! We are potty-training a 3
year-old that has major poop issues and probably has to be taken off of dairy
(the absolute staple in her somewhat limited diet) at the same time we are
dealing with a very clingy almost 2 year old that has learned how to crawl out
of her crib. Both kids have been sick
for about a month and, as a result, naps, sleep, and mealtime have become
completely disorganized in the ways that you would expect. And, now, Steve and I are struggling to keep
those same illnesses at bay. Oh yes, did
I mention that I am almost 5 months pregnant and have become SUPER patient on
top of it allJ?? I am just feeling like I am at my wits end. We have had our bad day, or even days, here
and there, but this feels like an eternity.
Steve and I are both exhausted, sick, frustrated and out of sorts!
So, here I am writing
this blog at 10:15 pm after spending about an hour and a half trying to get my
poor Mia (who is the sickest of all of us) to sleep. I am just hoping that she and Soph make it
through the night so I can get a decent night sleep. I don’t think we have had an undisturbed
night in weeks! One is getting molars
and dealing with some night terrors and the other can barely breathe at
night. Poor babies! And, poor mama!! But, what can you do to make the situation
better when there is really nothing in your control that can be done? I can't dictate how my kids will act or feel, but I certainly have to deal with the fall out! If the girls get up, I get up. If they don’t get to sleep by their bedtime,
I don’t get to work or sleep or do whatever it is I need to do sans kids. If they are cranky in the morning and don’t
want to get dressed, I do what I need to do to get them calmed down and dressed
and out the door. If they have a
meltdown in a restaurant, I get up from the meal and walk around and keep them
entertained. I just do what needs to gets
done in the moment and hope that relief will come for both the kids and for
me.
I know, deep down…like
really, really deep down at this point…that this stage too shall
pass. I know that in a few weeks we will
be back on track and my life, although chaotic, will feel a little more normal
again. I know that I will be more ready
for a newborn by the time #3 arrives. I
know I will sleep again someday and will even wish that my children would sleep
less. I know that there will be a time
when they don’t want or need me and I will look back and appreciate the
clinginess (well, kind ofJ). But even
though I know those things, they feel very far away. I imagine a lot of moms go through these
stages and wonder how they let things get so off track. I also imagine that, like me, other moms do
what they can do to just move forward through these phases. There is no answer or resolution. Just keep your head down, put one foot in
front of the other, and march on.
Eventually you pick your head up and look around to see a much brighter
day…one where you have a nanny, a personal chef, and lots of money and where
you lose weight regardless of what you eat.
Ok, ok. Maybe just one where you
get to sleep through the night and take a shower and pee all by yourself, but a
brighter day nonetheless! So, I plan to K.I.M (keep it moving) and hope that the light is near and the tunnel is short.
Until next time…
