Imbalanced

Real talk, I do not have things under control.  That’s probably not the best way to start but it’s the truth and my goal with this blog is to keep things 100% authentic.  You should also know that I am not an expert, unless you would like me to talk to you about accounting (I’m a certified public accountant...please do not ask me about taxes).  I am disorganized, a very poor planner, and my life is pure chaos most of the time.  I haven’t got anything figured out.  Not marriage, or kids, or work.  Nada.   Another blogger may not be so quick to admit this, as it somewhat diminishes the "expertise" status that I suppose a blogger should have.  But, I want to come clean with you right off the bat.  Trying to be and do all of these things is really, really hard.  At least for me. So why am I telling you that I’m a hot mess who knows nothing?  Because I want you to know that you are not alone if you are feeling like you’re barely getting by.  In fact, I will even go as far to say that despite everyone’s Instagram feeds and Facebook posts, most moms feel this way too.  Let me just say that again, so we are all clear.  No one has it all together.  Some of us just hide it a lot better than others.

I have been told that I come off as being put together.  I am pretty sure the people that have told me this were just trying to make me feel better, but let's say (for the sake of this blog) that it is true.  As I stated, I am not.  Most of my days are a haze of top knots, running pants, conference calls, doctor appointments, kids dance class, soccer games, blah, blah, blah.  There are so many days where Stephen and I are fighting or the kids are really difficult or I am really stressed about work.  There are days where there is more yelling and tears in my house (mostly mine) than laughter and smiles.  But, until recently, that isn't what I posted on social media and that isn't what I portrayed to the world.  Because I didn't want people to see my "cracks" (I'm so immature, but this word makes me giggle), I tried really hard to pretend that things were great.  And that is what we all do, isn't it?  We like people to think that our lives are picture perfect.  That what they see on Instagram is the reality.  So you might wonder what the big deal is.  Who wants to put the "ugly" on social media or give people some depressing response when asked "How are you?"?   No one.  And that isn't what I am suggesting you do.  But the problem with pretending that everything is great all the time is that you are setting the bar for anyone and everyone that looks up to you.  They think your façade is your reality and try to live up to it, only to feel like utter failures when they can't.  And then they do the same.  They set the bar for any one looking up to them.  And so on.  Think about it.  Every female friend that looks up to you, every woman that works for you, every little cousin or sister, YOUR DAUGHTERS.  They all look to you as a role model.  If you make things look perfect and balanced all the time, even if they are not, what are you really telling them?  How are you making them feel when they are struggling?

Here's the skinny.  Being a mom is hard.  Really, really hard.  And messy.  So very messy.  Being a working mom is pure chaos.  Pure. Chaos. But that is OK.  It's supposed to be hard and messy and chaotic.  We need to let other moms, especially new moms, know that is NORMAL if it's hard and messy and chaotic.  Do you think God intended for motherhood to be easy or pretty?  If he did, do you really think he would have designed childbirth the way he did?  Or that he would have installed milk filled sprinklers in our tata's?  I don't think so.  He made the whole thing pretty messy right from the get go.  I think he made his point.  So spread the word.  Let your walls down a little bit.  Be a little more honest about your life.  I am not saying you need to go and post an ugly pic of yourself or tell your boss all about your marital woes the next time she asks you how you're doing.  Just try to be authentic.  Don't BS the people in your life that matter.

Until next time!

Follow me on Instagram @Imbalanced1978