I have to be honest (afterall that is the point of the blog), I am really struggling to live healthier. Yesterday I got Wendy's and today I have eaten about 15 tootsie rolls. I had to physically put the tootsie rolls in the trash and cover them with other trash to stop myself from eating them. I covered them with other trash because I actually contemplated taking the tootsie rolls out of the trash to eat more. They are wrapped, after all, so the other trash wouldn't really "dirty" them. Right? Even as a type I am wincing at the thought of eating candy out of the trash (I do have 2 babies in diapers afterall...wouldn't be pretty). Why is this so hard?? When I eat better and I exercise I feel so much better, physically and mentally. So why can't I just make the changes that I need to be better everyday?
Making any life change is extremely overwhelming and can be very intimidating. Fitness and health are particularly hot topics and there is no shortage of books, websites, tv shows, concepts...all with different things to think about and interesting pieces of information. Where do you even begin? Do you go to a meeting and count points? Do you just start focusing on portion sizes? Is organic the way to go? Should you order meals that come to your house pre-cooked? And, what do you do at parties or on vacation or at a night out with your friends? What if your married and your husband or wife doesn't care to join you (or even worse eats like crap and stays skinny)? There is just too much to think about. It is just easier, at least for me, to revert back to what I know...eating like crap. But this time I am determined to make a change. I have been making small changes, little by little. And I know that eventually those small changes will add up. Even if I do have the occassional tootsie roll binge.
I wouldn't expect myself to run a marathon without training for it. How can I expect myself to make a major life change without the same amount of hard work? When training for a race there are learning curves and growing pains. There are weeks when you do a little more and weeks where you just don't feel like doing as much. But, you try to stick as closely as possible to your training schedule and just keep pressing on until race day arrivesObviously in my real life scenario there is no race day, but the idea is still the same. You have a goal and you work towards it little by little. You start out with a single mile and before you know it you are running more than you ever thought that you physically could.
Writing today's blog made me realize that I may need to have some measurable goal to strive for. I said that weight loss wasn't my motivation and it still isn't. But maybe monitoring it will help to keep me moving forward and give me an opportunity to celebrate real, tangible victories. I plan to post my current weight in the next few days. I am not psyched about it since I have just had two babies back to back. But, I think it will help if I can publically track my progress. I just have to buy a scale (no - I am not kidding. I don't have one).
And, who knows, if I could eat like crap and be in moderate shape maybe I can really work at it and look like a freaking rock star!
Until next time...
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