I haven't run all week. I just haven't felt like it and since I am not training for anything at the moment and haven't been in the mood, I haven't gone. But I can feel it in my bones. I just don't feel as strong and I have been kind of down the past couple of days. Damnit running. Why does something so hard have to make you feel so...healthy?
Running and I have a love-hate relationship. I love the way that I feel when I finish a run. I love training for and finishing a race. I love being in shape. I just HATE the physical act of running. In talking to other runners, they feel the same way. Exercise is an amazing thing, but it isn't always fun. I love the results of it without loving the act.
I also have a love-hate relationship with sugar. I love kit kats and chocolate cookies, especially. I love the fun of knowing even after your meal that you still have dessert to order. I even love the feeling of sugar when I eat it (I could probably eat a teaspoon of sugar. No problem!). Unfirtunately, I HATE the physical effects of sugar. I hate the way that I feel when I finish eating the sugar. I hate the fact that it causes me to gain weight. I hate that it can rot your teeth (ok - I never really thought about this before but I should have because I have had a million cavities). I love the act of it without loving the results.
Why do the act and the result have such an inverse relationship? It makes getting healthy really difficult for people like me. I am a pretty impulsive "instant gratification" kind of person and it is really hard for me to grasp the positive or negative effects that something might have in the future despite how it might make me feel today. I recognize this and I know I need to figure out a way to work with this if I am going to get healthy. Because, if the two above examples didn't convince you, most things that supply instant gratification aren't good for you and vice versa.
In the meantime, to address my clear sugar addition, I am going to give up sugar. I actually plan to start with sweeteners. I am giving up sweeteners. All things Splenda, Extra, and Sweet and Low. This will mean that when faced with the choice of "original" or "low fat" I will most likely have to go for original. But, I am ok with that. Weight loss isn't my motivation and as long as I am not downing sticks of butter I am pretty sure that the benefit of not eating chemicals (which is exactly what those sweeteners are) will outweight the extra calories. I have already started omitting sugar altogether from my daily cup of coffee and I have been adamantly reading the ingredients in everything I eat to make sure that I don't see some of the key words (i.e., aspartame, sucralose, neotame). The scariest thing about these sweeteners (specifically aspartame) is that it took over 15 years for the FDA to approve them. And I was eating them every day. Like I said, instant gratification!
Until next time...
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